My tattoo and the road to a new beginning

I have always wanted a tattoo ever since I was younger.  I just never had the nerve to jump in and do it.  After my divorce I was determined that I would get one just to be a visual reminder to me of a new beginning.  I made the decision to get one now I had to decide what to get and where to get it.  I played around with a few places and a few ideas and decided that I wanted a daisy on my big toe.  Next step was to find someone to do the tattoo.  I work with a lady who in her forties started getting tattoos and so she recommended the lady who did hers to me.  I emailed "The Tattoo Lady" and asked if she would do mine and my little sister's.  "The Tattoo Lady agreed and told me to send her over email a copy of what we wanted.  Joi wanted a Celtic knot on her lower back and so we found one and sent it to "The Tattoo Lady" who said she could do it and so we scheduled a day and time.  I told her I would bring mine with me because it was small and I had drawn it. 

The big day came and we were both nervous.  Neither one of us had ever done anything like this and even though we were excited we were both a bundle of nerves.  Joi decided to go first since hers was bigger and more elaborate than mine.  Plus she told me later that if I had gone first and had acted like it was painful she would have chickened out.  After lots of encouragement, hands nearly being squeezed off, and lots of leg twitches Joi's tattoo was done and it had taken almost an hour.  It was my turn.  "The Tattoo Lady" created a stencil/stamp of my daisy and she positioned it on my toe.  Then she started.  It was slightly uncomfortable but it took less than 5 minutes.  Yes, you heard me less than 5 minutes.  I couldn't even act like it hurt at all because Joi had spent almost an hour in pain and I refused to look like a wimp.  I did just get an outline and that is why it did not take very long.  "The Tattoo Lady" said that it was the smallest tattoo she had ever done:)  We both went home with promises of touch ups and fill ins if we decided to do so.

Here is what my tattoo looked like that day.  It was not flip flop weather yet but I spent the day walking around in flip flops just looking at my toe.  I was in love.

Several months went by and I decided that I would get it filled in.  I love my tattoo and at first just wanted the outline but I just went back and had it touched up and filled in by "The Tattoo Lady" and I am very happy I did.  I have one more appointment to get another layer of color because white can be difficult and hard to see.  Here is what my tattoo looks like now.

Did I mention that I love my tattoo:)  I am very happy with the results and I have a daily visual reminder that new beginnings are possible and although painful can have a beautiful result.

I enjoy my internet

Well, the drama just never stops around here. The last time I was on was the 14th and at that time little did I know that I would soon be internet free for almost 2 wks!!! My internet has been down and I have called and chatted and tried to fix and then ended up having to make an appointment for a service visit. I work until around 3 everyday and the lady on the phone told me that the days are split up 8-12 and 1-5 and if they come while I am not home then I would probably have to make another appointment so I had to set it up for today which is Sat. So, crisis averted and now I am back online. YEAH!!

Easter has come and gone and it was a sweet time. My basement was too wet so we did the dinner at my mom's house instead and that worked out well. I just really wanted to do it at my apartment :( It was great to see my family and it always amazes me the family dynamics that I am surrounded by. So many different personalities, view points, and behaviors that one could probably write a book about it and maybe even a movie script.

I rode the bus all last week and part of this week but now we have other options so I am going to be riding only Thursday mornings which is wonderful for the next couple of weeks. My assistant is hoping to come back on May 10th and I have my fingers crossed. We are really in the final stretch of school this year and with June 2nd coming up (last day for kids) I didn't know if it would be possible for her to even come back.

I don't think that I have mentioned it for awhile but I am going to Guatemala in July on a Mission Trip and I am very nervous and excited. This will be the first time I have been out of the country. I have my passport and I am working on gathering the funds I need to pay for my expenses. I wrote a letter and sent it to about 15 friends and family telling them about the trip and unfortunately asking for help with funding. I don't really like to ask for help and I was very uncomfortable doing so. However, I really want to go on this trip and the reality is that I can't afford it on my own. We are doing fund raisers at church but every little bit helps. I have received some money back from those letters and to be honest it was overwhelming. I am a very blessed person and I am surrounded by those who love me. I cried when I opened those return envelopes. I just want to shout out to all those who know me and love me anyway. May God bless you abundantly.

A final chapter

So, yesterday was a crazy day. I had to teach and that is always exhausting, crazy, chaotic, fun, enjoyable, and a total learning experience for all involved. But the fun didn't stop there! I get home and go in the basement to check the leaking situation and AHHHHH!! I had standing water. So, I holler at my land lady (whom I love and adore) and she said that she was bringing me a wet vac to keep in my basement. Thirty minutes later I am in the basement sucking up water. Keep in mind I am having my family over for Easter Dinner and we are doing this in the basement

I come upstairs to take a little break when I notice on my phone that I have a message. My friend Cathy (Daisy the dogs mother) has called. I give her a call and find out Daisy needs a place to crash for a couple of days. Her daddy Randy has to go back to the hospital for another surgery. Daisy comes and Cathy leaves to take care of her husband. Daisy and the cats cautiously check each other out again and they go back to their understanding of staying out of each others way.

I get a call from my assistant (at school) who hurt her foot today getting a kid on the bus and she said that she wasn't coming in tomorrow and that I would have to ride her bus. I was already scheduled to ride another bus due to a rotation because of another assistants absence for two weeks. I called the teacher of the other assistant and told her to ride that bus I had to ride my assistants bus. Regardless I was going to ride a bus tomorrow :(

Then I have to go and meet my ex for our final meeting. It was very uncomfortable and he kept trying to talk and I just wanted to get the business done and go home. I signed the papers to have my name taken off the house and get the money he still owes me. I get up to leave and he says "I'll talk to you later." I don't know what that means exactly but I have no reason to ever talk to him again. Who knows because I definitely don't.

Got home fixed dinner, watched a movie, went to bed to get up early the next morning to take care of all my animals and ride the bus. A day in the life of me :)

March 5, 2011

So, today I have hit a point where I am missing male companionship. Off and on through this past year that has happened but today it seemed to hit harder than any other time. I sometimes spend too much time alone and I think that has been part of it today. However, I also think that because my ex has found someone to lease our home with the option to buy and that will happen by April 1st has something to do with it as well. As much as I want to be through with my ex and my old life I still want to know that part of it is still there.

I told my friend Crystal that I have been frustrated with my life right now and she said that it is a time of a new beginning and she doesn't understand why I am frustrated. I think it is because I am alone and just about everyone I know has someone even my ex and I am reminded daily that my life isn't complete. I don't have someone who I can come home to and talk about my day. I don't have little faces looking up at me expectantly. I don't have the hustle and the bustle that my friends have and even though I know that it is wrong I am jealous of my friends and my family. I used to think that I had it all figured out and that is when the rug was jerked out from under my feet. Now I struggle. I try to be the strong responsible one who can take anything and keep on ticking but right now I just want someone to hold me and tell me that it is all going to be ok.

Sorry, I know that this is probably more information than anyone would want but I just needed to get it out and even though I struggle with how personal to get on my blog I am compelled to go ahead and publish this. I made the disclaimer in my intro that I may ramble but it is all simply me.